


It's Hard, Loving A Hero

by KryptonianConstellation



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Feels, Kelly the therapist, Lena Luthor Loves Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug, Lena and Kara become friends again, My friend said I need more feels warning, Post season 5 and after Lex is stopped, She-Ra inspiration, how season 6 should go, oblivious lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24581389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KryptonianConstellation/pseuds/KryptonianConstellation
Summary: It wasn't easy to be friends with a superhero Lena found out.But it was even harder to fall in love with one.Kara and Lena had taken down Lex and Leviathan, which gave them time to mend. But as they did, problems began to surface for Lena. Such as the teeny tiny fact that Lena was falling in love with her superhero, best friend. Not a big deal right?
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 17
Kudos: 396





	It's Hard, Loving A Hero

**Author's Note:**

> So I binged She-Ra and the princesses of power in like 4/5 days? I have no regrets, the story was amazing, my fave of course being Catra and Adora's story. If any of you have watched it, I'm sure you'll see where I got some of the key lines in this story from.  
> This fic was meant to be short. It was not.  
> Anyways I'm pretty sure a lot of us hope that season 6 will go something like this, cause I sure do.  
> I also wrote this because I wanted to venture in the challenges of caring for someone who's a hero, the way they make sacrifices doesn't just affect them but those that care about them.  
> Hope you're all staying safe out there!

_Stay. Just this once._

Lena watched as the red-caped hero battled in the air. Against a winged rouge alien. Amongst the many around her, the people below watched the chaos occur. Of course, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind that everyone was rooting for National City’s hero. But she was also sure that she was the only one worried for her. 

To the world, Supergirl was indestructible. The Girl of Steel. They knew she’d win, and she has countless times. She was their protector. 

But to Lena… She was no longer just the girl of steel anymore. 

Lena winced as she watched the blonde take a pretty hard hit, even if Lena was pretty sure Supergirl hardly felt anything. 

Supergirl was no longer just a powerful alien that she looked up to… she now knew the truth. That the same person who donned the suit was her best friend. Kara Danvers. 

Her heart broke when the truth was revealed by none other than her insane brother. For months Lena reeled from it. Four years. Kara never told her. Why?

Then came the emotions that could not be placed into little boxes and hidden away. She acted on her emotions. Anger, pain, heartache. Ironically enough, as those feelings rose to the surface the one she hidden for a long time far before she learned the truth, was pushed further away that it was as if it never existed. 

When Lena finally realized where all those emotions lead her to… she was truly lost. She let herself work with Lex because it was less painful, because this time she’d be smarter. She wasn’t.

He fooled her once more. But of course she didn’t comply with his plans, the one thing he was counting on. The exact thing that Lena would never give him. 

When she had gone back to her apartment after Lex had shouted at her, when she realized everything she had been working on was not possible. When she saw that pain and survival were essential to life, she found herself alone. 

Lena found herself wishing for the warmth and ease of game nights and lunches with friends. With Kara. To talk so late into the night she ended up staying over. To have people that supported her, really supported her. To gain a second perspective on something she was lost on. She missed the friends she had pushed away. 

It’s what she’s always done, isn’t it? She befriends people, they betray her, and she cuts them off and she finds herself alone. 

But for some reason, Lena could tell that this time, it was different. Like she could tell that maybe these people deserved a second chance. Lena wasn’t sure about it. But, she decided, that if they would be willing to give her a second chance that she’d do the same for them.

So she went to see Kara. Things weren’t easy, but they got through it. Defeated Leviathan. Stopped Lex and Lillian. And she and Kara talked. A lot. Apologizing for everything they both had said and done to each other, seeing each other’s perspective, beginning to trust one another once more. It both scared and eased Lena at the same time. There were always going to be things that would be hard to look back on, but they both were willing to give it the time and effort to mend what had been broken. 

Now, things were better. Things shifted from talking about what had happened to talking like they used to. Silly topics like NSYNC, arguing over whether kale salad should exist, and their frustrations at work. Lena even started to attend game night again, though Lena wasn’t able to attend all of the ones they’ve all had since the latest fiasco, because Lena once again had to take over Luthor Corp. It was easier than before since she had already done it once before. 

But the thing that was new in her and Kara’s friendship was well getting to learn about Kara Zor-El. Kara happily talked about Krypton, even though it hurt to remember for her, but it hurt more to forget it. And talking about it made her remember. It did sadden Lena when she saw the pain in Kara’s eyes when she forgot a detail about what she was recounting. Nevertheless, Kara would continue. 

It was then the anger, pain, and heartache began to fade. Replaced with warmth, happiness, and ease the more time she spent with Kara, Alex, Kelly, J’onn, Brainy, and Nia. Of course Kelly had started to give Lena some therapy tips. Lena also spent time with Andrea, they talked about everything they were afraid of, memories, and goals for their companies, just like when they were in boarding school.

Things were good. Finally. Lena knew that of course there was going to be more save the world situations, she was best friends again with Supergirl and she was as Kara would say “the world saving genius”. But she had a chosen family who would make it easier. Lena couldn’t be more grateful. 

As the days went on, Lena found herself getting more worried each time she saw the red cape in the sky or the bright smile on TV. She was scared Kara would get hurt. And Lena knew it was a possibility. 

She didn’t like it, she knew Kara could take care of herself (most of the time), and if not she had many people who cared for her to make sure she was okay. But there was a constant tugging at Lena’s heart, like there was something she had left there forgotten and it was beginning to unravel. 

She knew the world needed Supergirl. But Lena just wished Kara would stay. 

*****

_That’s what you’ll always choose, isn’t it? To be the hero…_

Kara stared at her with a pouty face. Lena couldn’t help but laugh out loud. 

“You really are evil,” Kara said. 

Lena knew it was a joke, the words Kara said. She knew it because it’s been months since the days where Lena would take it as the truth. When those words would make Lena spiral. But now, there was something between them that was formed stronger, it felt impossible to break. 

“You are so dramatic, it’s just kale,” Lena told Kara and she ate another potsticker. 

“But in potstickers! That just pulls at my heartstrings Lena. My favourite food mixed with _that._ ”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Fine, then that just means more for me.”

Kara glared at Lena. She looked between Lena and the potstickers. Kara hesitantly continued eating them, which made Lena laugh even more.

Just as Kara was about to take another bite of what Lena could state as the slowest she’s ever seen Kara eat a box of potstickers, something seemed to catch Kara’s attention. 

“Saved by the bell. Seems like a robbery, be right back.”

Lena felt the gust of wind that she had started to be accustomed to. She looked at the spot next to her that is now empty. An almost finished tray of potstickers sat on the coffee table. 

Lena knew she should have seen it coming, but it still felt… odd. The unfinished lunches, the spontaneous leaving, seeing her best friend turn into a hero in a blink on an eye. It’s what heroes do. Leave their normal lives to save the world. No matter how big or small the problem. Lena understood and respected that. But a small voice in Lena’s head wondered if maybe that didn’t always have to be the case. 

*****

_You didn’t tell me to protect me from others. But instead I needed to be protected from myself._

“Bu- but that is impossible…”

“But it is since it just happened,” Kara said. 

“Sorry Brainy, better luck next time,” Alex said as she got up from her spot on the couch and patted Brainy’s shoulder. Alex went off to the kitchen in Kara’s apartment.

“How Lena? I- I calculated, ran simulations-”

“Brainy, how many times do I have to tell you that you’re not supposed to do that,” Nia said next to him. 

Lena just smirked. “You forget, Monopoly isn’t just about strategy, but it’s also business.”

“Ugh, I don’t know why we play with you two. Both of you are way too smart for any of us to keep up,” Kara complained as she leaned back on the floor. 

“Says miss “youngest to join the science guild on Krypton”” Lena teased back.

Kara covered Lena’s mouth with her eyes wide. “Shhh! And monopoly isn’t science,” Kara pointed out.

“Like you didn’t learn calculus at the age of 4,” Alex noted as she handed Kelly a drink. 

“Wait? Kara’s a secret genius?” Nia asked, curious.

“Looks like my secret has been revealed. Thanks a lot Lena,” Kara pouted as she removed her hand that covered Lena’s mouth. 

Lena in turn chuckled.

“If you’re good at science and math, why choose journalism?” Kelly asked. 

“When I can get Lena to do the work? Nah, I’m good,” Kara said with a smirk on her face.

“Hey!” Lena exclaimed.

“Just kidding! More so because Lena would kill me for making all the new advancements before her. Plus, it’s your world, your advancements.”

“More like your excuse for not letting me know any of Krypton’s advanced tech besides what I can find in the D.E.O.”

“If I did then I’d never see you again. You’d just be holded up in your lab trying to create it all.” 

Lena was about to say something in return but was instead interrupted.

“You two banter like an old married couple, now, who’s up for a game of pictionary?” Alex said.

Lena tried not to let the blush that she was sure was creeping up her neck show, as she hid behind her long black hair that was let down. Something she may or may not have started to do more frequently since Kara said it looked cute. 

Thus, game night continued and no one really made much note of Alex’s teasing comment other than Lena. Without her realisation Kara had also taken lots of notice into those words as well. 

When they all went home, Lena was the last to leave after having stayed to help Kara clean up (and stealing one of Kara’s old worn hoodies that she loved, but that was a small detail after all, right?). 

Alex’s words remained in her head. It wasn’t long before the banter between Kara and her was returned soon after they had finally gotten past their former problems. But it just seemed like the kind of banter they used to have with each other. So did they really act like a married couple? Even back then? Like people who knew everything about each other and knew how to tease one another with ease. But underneath it all was just love. 

Lena looked back to the ocean-eyed girl who was singing a tune that was playing on Kara’s phone as they cleaned. 

“So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better? If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather. So, before you go, was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting? It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless. So, before you go,” Kara sang beautifully. 

Lena’s heart swelled with emotion. Ones that without a doubt scared her. Even though Lena knew Kara wasn’t singing those words to her, it was almost as if those words were for her. 

She watched the blonde locks of hair beautifully frame Kara’s gentle and caring face. One that held a distant look, telling Lena that Kara was lost in the music. Glasses didn’t adorn Kara’s face, which allowed Lena to notice the light splatter of freckles across her cheeks. 

It still was going to take a bit more to get used to it. Seeing Supergirl and Kara as one after so long seeing them as two different people. To truly see Kara Zor-El. A girl who liked to wear soft and bright colours and would impatiently speed read through a good book, but somehow had the patience to create a painting at human pace. But Lena knew in her heart it was worth it. Every moment. 

Even the times that Lena would spend anxiously afraid for Kara as she left to be a hero, wondering if she would come back this time. Although Kara of course came back every time, yet it never seemed to ease her mind. 

Once more, Lena’s heart was aching. But this time, it was her own fault. Lena was falling, her heart knew. But her head refused to acknowledge it. She was afraid for what it’d do to her if she did. It wasn’t easy to be friends with a hero.

“Lena? You okay?” Kara asked, seeming to have taken notice of her silence.

“Yeah,” Lena answered. 

Lena knew she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

*****

_These feelings… It’s not because I like you._

Since the last game night, Lena has been… distant. She could file it all to the latest L-Corp project she has been working on. It was to be her first for the newly named company, on this earth. 

The raven haired woman was once more placed in the tainted light of the Luthor name. But this time, she had people that she knew cared for her. It made the weight of trying to be good less draining. Because there were people who knew that she was good. That she made mistakes, but in the end would make the right choice. 

This time, there were people next to her that would remind her that she wasn’t like her family. 

Obviously, the project she was working on was the excuse that Lena gave everyone. But it wasn’t the problem that was prying at her mind. 

Lena needed time and space to think. After what Alex had said, and the onslaught of emotions that she suddenly had when watching Kara clean… She tried for the past few weeks to push it away. But apparently since her head began to notice and her feelings came to the surface it was like a door that was opened. And not one she could close again. 

Of course she realized that she needed to sort out whatever this was quick, because the look on Kara’s face didn’t believe her when she gave her lame excuse. But Kara being the kind friend that she is gave her some space. Lena knew that it would only last for so long till Kara would be appearing at her door getting worried. 

Kara… things with Kara were good to say the least. Sure sometimes Lena had the slight pang of worry that Kara would get mad at her or… Well Lena didn’t really need to delve into all that did she? Four years of trust broken was going to take more than just a few months to rebuild. And as Kelly would remind her, was that they were trying, and that’s all that mattered.

But, now, there was something new but yet… familiar? That was placed on the table. And like the scientist she was, Lena wanted to examine it before she made a sure decision about it. 

What was this thing you may ask? 

Well it was the new but interesting way her heart jumped when she saw Kara, or did it always but now she noticed it?

How she found herself getting lost in thought more when she stared at the blonde. 

Dreams that began to feature the woman who she was now sure, meant the world to her. 

The formerly faded twist and turns her stomach made, that now was turned up tenfold that she couldn’t ignore it. 

The last time Lena had felt like this was since… Jack. And that, that was forever ago. 

Lena gulped, if this was the beginning of what she possibly thought it was then Lena had no idea what to do. 

“Well, the best way to test a thesis when it doesn’t lead to much on your own is to get a second perspective,” Lena mumbled to herself.

Was it slightly concerning that Lena was relying on scientific methods to deal with her relationships? Sure, but that was a problem Lena would deal with later. 

So Lena took off to Obsidian to find Andrea, who Lena decided was the most unbiased of all the people she could talk to. Yeah, she may be Kara’s boss, but Andrea didn’t really know the bubbly blonde. It was an outside opinion. 

“Miss. Luthor,” Andrea’s assistant said when she walked in. 

Lena smiled at the young girl. Sadie was just out of college, a bright brunette who Lena and Andrea easily came to like, hence Andrea hiring her. 

“Sadie, how are you?” 

“I’m good. My mother is having another baby, I just found out. And it’s my little brother’s birthday soon. How about you Miss Luthor?”

“That’s lovely. I’m doing good as well. Project at L-Corp is going well. Also I’ve already told you to call me Lena right?”

“Sorry Mis- Lena,” Sadie said. 

“Is Andrea busy?”

“Oh, I’m afraid so. Miss. Rojas just went into a board meeting about 10 minutes ago. It’s still going to be awhile before she gets out of it. I’m sure you know that.”

“I definitely do. Guess I had bad timing. Well, tell her I came by and that I’m sorry I couldn’t save her from the dreadful meeting,” Lena said.

“I’ll make sure of that.”

“Thank you,” Lena said. 

“Sadie, here’s the files that Miss. Rojas requested,” Kelly said as she came over to give a pile of papers to the girl.

“Thanks, I’ll make sure she gets it when her meeting is done,” Sadie responded.

“Kelly, Hi,” Lena said.

“Hi, are you here to see Andrea?” Kelly asked.

“Yes, though I just about missed her apparently.”

“Yeah, well you and her are hard to get a hold of lately. You missed Kara pouting that her favourite trivia partner wasn’t with her last game night.”

Lena’s heart did that thing at that tidbit of information. The whole skipping a beat, which surely wasn’t healthy medically speaking. 

“Well you know, it takes work rebuilding a company.”

“It must be, not sure when the last time I saw Andrea in person was yet we apparently work in the same building,” Kelly chuckled. “But you better not miss out on the next one.”

“Ah, yes, they said we’re playing pool on the group chat right?” Lena asked.

“Mmhmm. It’s gonna be a heated Danvers sister competition,” Kelly stated.

“Must be.” Lena remembered Kara saying that she was really good at pool, the only one who seemed to challenge her at it was Alex. 

“Anyways, I better head back to my office. I’ll see you next week then?” Kelly asked.

“Yeah.”

Kelly waved as she started to walk away. 

“Wait,” Kelly turned around. “You’re a therapist. I- I wanted to umm, I had some questions. If you’re not busy. Since I’m already here, and well Andrea is busy.”

Kelly smiled. “Come with me.”

They reached Kelly’s office which had a lovely floor to ceiling window to the right, a shelf on the wall adorned the back wall with Kelly’s stuff, and a clear glass table in the center. Lena sat on one of the white chairs opposite to Kelly. 

“Thanks for this, I know you’re at work.” Lena paused. “I shouldn’t be wasting your time…”

“Lena, it’s alright. Anything for a friend,” Kelly reassured her. 

Lena looked at Kelly who had a soft smile that you couldn’t help but trust. Lena could easily see why she was a therapist. 

“Um, promise to not tell anyone about this? Not even Alex.”

“Of course.”

Lena fiddled with the edge of the black blazer she wore, unsure of how to really go about this conversation with someone who she wasn’t entirely used to having these talks with. But out of everyone Lena knew, Kelly probably knew emotions the best. 

“How… how would one tell if they have feelings for someone. Like… crush kind of feelings?”

“Is that what you think you’re feeling?”

“I- yes, sort of. I just don’t know. It’s been… The last time I fell in love with someone was about five years ago.”

“A crush and falling in love are very different, Lena.”

“Then what would be the difference?” Lena asked, curious.

“A crush is fast. Sudden and maybe unexpected. But love is something that takes time, is subtle, and formed from deep connections with that person. A crush would feel new while love is familiar,” Kelly explained. “Of course, it’s different for everyone, but it’s often like that.”

Lena took a moment to digest what Kelly told her. To be able find a way to categorize her emotions in some kind of way made her feel more secure. The more information she had the more control over the situation she would have. 

“Would you say that falling in love is a bit of a mix of both?” Lena nervously asked. The CEO didn’t get nervous easily but this concept, this possibility scared her. Her friendship with Kara was one of the most important things in her life. Yet here she was, beginning to realize that maybe she was developing deep feelings for her best friend. What a way to ruin it.

“That’s likely,” Kelly said. 

“How do I stop it?” 

“Stop it?

“That’s what I said.”

“Lena, why would you…” Kelly sighed, as if recalling that Lena had bad habits when dealing with her emotions. You couldn’t blame the girl of course, having grown up in the Luthor household where they believed emotions to be weak. “Sometimes it takes time and they can fade. It’s easier when it’s just a crush, but bordering love… that’s much harder to prevent. Especially if you see them a lot. But, Lena, have you considered pursuing it?”

Lena was speechless at Kelly’s last words. 

“It’s not easy, but you should try to put yourself out there. It’d be a good step for you,” Kelly said. 

“I can’t. Not with this person. I-”

“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”

“But what if I ruin it?” Lena’s worries said.

Kelly just looked at her with kind eyes. “But what if it works out?”

Lena let those words sink in. For the first time Lena thought of the possibility of Kara liking her back. The idea felt warm and appealing. 

It disappeared, overtaken with the latest internal problem Lena seemed to be noticing.

“How do you… aren’t you scared that Alex might not return whenever she goes on a mission?”

It was clear from Kelly’s face that she did not expect that question that was very off topic from the current line of questions. 

“Uh, well it’s hard. But I trust her. It’s not easy… My ex-fiancee died on the front lines, and dating Alex who also goes off on dangerous missions… I trust, hope for the best, and believe it’s worth it in the end. Because at the end of the day I get to be with her.”

All of these things that Kelly was suggesting were so unfamiliar to Lena. Trust for her was a tricky thing. Putting herself out there and believing it’s worth it… Lena very much preferred the comfort of facts and things that were definite.

Two thoughts that Kelly had now made Lena consider, possibilities that Lena probably wouldn’t have slowed down to consider were if there was a chance of Kara returning feelings and the question of if it was worth it. 

Then it occurred to Lena, it was Kara Danvers. Of course it would be worth it. 

“Do- do you…” Lena wasn’t sure she’s ever stuttered this much in her life. “Think Kara might be into girls?”

Once more this question seemed to take Kelly by surprise, but not as much as she was previously. Lena saw the gears turning in Kelly’s head as she made the connection.

“It’s not something I can say myself, but you’ll never know if you don’t try. And Lena, I think this one’s worth a shot.”

“If I ruin it?”

“Honestly, I don’t think this would ruin it. You and Kara have been through a lot the past year. Yet you’ve both overcome it with a bond much stronger. Whether or not she returns the feelings, it won’t ruin your friendship. You know Kara, she wouldn’t stop being your friend no matter what.”

“Yeah. That’s true,” Lena said with a faint smile on her lips. 

“When you’re ready, I think it’s worth the chance.”

“Thank you Kelly. I- I needed that.”

“I’m always here.”

Lena stood up feeling less lost than before. 

“Lena.”

“Yes?”

“I know you’ve had probably a tough childhood and things obviously haven’t gotten much easier for you. I’ve started working with Kara, and have monthly check ins with Nia. I know I’ve given you a few tips lately, but if you’re willing to try more steady therapy sessions? Just letting you know, you don’t have to decide right now.”

“I don’t know. Therapy seems…”

“You do know that the talk we just had was basically how my therapy sessions go right? Just conversation. Not as scary or invasive as you may think.”

“I’ll be tough to work with. You know, all those terrible ingrained Luthor habits.”

“Then we can work on it,” Kelly said, completely sure and not worried about how hard it may be to work with Lena, especially when it came to emotions and her past. 

“O-Okay.”

Kelly smiled. “Good, now less of those little boxes that Brainy told me about and think about what I said okay?”

Lena nodded and left Kelly’s office. 

She left learning that all these emotions around Kara weren’t because she liked Kara, but because she was beginning to fall in love with her. Or maybe she always was since they met, but Lena hadn’t realized. 

Also, therapy might not be as bad as she thought. 

*****

_It doesn’t always have to be you… yet it always is._

Since her talk with Kelly happened, Lena started to really take in her feelings. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that it was inevitable. 

Lex was family and betrayed her. Andrea was a friend and betrayed her. So why was Kara her breaking point? What was different? 

The same answer to that question was the exact reason Lena happened to have let Kara in so easily when she had been so insistent in not making any friends when she moved to National City. 

Her reaction when she learned that Kara was Supergirl, it was one of trying to avoid this reality. How could she have been falling so quickly and easily for someone who didn’t seem to trust her? But that was the past. 

Now, Lena was stuck. She began letting herself feel these things, but she knew she needed to tell Kara at least. Yet, every time she tried, her brain went on autopilot and blanked. Surely, it’d be fine if Kara never knew right?

But whenever she leaned back on that thought, Kara would do something that would make her heart swell. Whether it was stuffing a bunch of donuts in her mouth or saving the day. Lena was in deep. No, she was drowning. 

It’s been a month. 4 tries, all failed. Lena had no clue how she was going to tell her best friend that she was falling in love with her. 

It wasn’t till one late evening at 2:20 am when one of her previous dilemma’s about Kara returned, as it was temporarily set aside since her latest revelation.

Who knew that stuttering sweet blonde who trailed in after Clark Kent would be the center of her many problems, but not necessarily bad ones. 

Lena was still up, not seeming to be able to get any sleep and decided to make some modifications on one of her projects. That was when she got the call. The name _Alex Danvers_ lit up on her phone screen. 

“Hello,” Lena said. 

“Lena…” Alex’s voice seemed to quiver, like…

“Is she okay? What happened?” Lena immediately said as worry seeped into her voice. 

“She’s lost a lot of blood… Just… come over here,” Alex said, voice hoarse, likely from crying.

Lena’s heart felt like it dropped from her chest. Blood. Kara couldn’t bleed. Unless…

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Lena said. She already started grabbing her purse and coat the second she heard Alex’s voice.

Lena called her driver and she waited for a bit outside her apartment in the chill air. The winter had faded into a cool spring, she could see the cherry blossoms around the street preparing to bloom. Trees that would soon become green again. 

It didn’t feel soon enough, the ride felt too long, but Lena was there. At the new D.E.O that L-Corp had helped rebuild. Brainy became co-director with Alex as she wanted to take part in being a vigilante of National City. Supergirl and Dreamer easily partnered with the D.E.O once more once Lex was no longer behind the scenes pulling all the strings. 

Lena walked through the halls and straight to the med bay. Most of the D.E.O looked pretty similar as before, the colour tones and some of the layout. It was a bit more spacious and had brand new L-Corp tech. 

Lena’s breath caught when she saw her. Kara was lying on the bed unconscious, skin paler than usual where bruises and cuts weren’t visible across her face. Instead of the bright sun kissed golden hair, it was tangled and looked much darker due to the dirt that must’ve gotten caught in it. Kara wore one of those hospital gowns. Her arms were crossed with cuts as well. One of her legs wrapped in bandages. She’s never seen the Kryptonian like this. 

It took a moment to realize there were tears falling from her eyes. 

“Lena,” Alex said as she went to stand beside her. 

“Wh- what happened?”

“Some alien that seemed to be able to absorb any energy thrown at them. When Nia and Kara reached the site and Nia used her energy blasts…”

“Is Nia alright?” Lena knew that Nia’s powers were raw dream energy, if their alien absorbed energy…

“She’s fine, she woke up an hour ago and I sent her home. The alien absorbed her powers quicker than with Kara. But of course Kara couldn’t use her heat vision or anything that emitted too much energy. The alien gained more strength as they absorbed the energy. I tried to tell Kara to get out, but the alien seemed to want Nia because of her raw energy. Kara did everything to protect Nia, and she managed to. J’onn got them out as soon as he could, there was some shield thing it created around them so it wasn’t early enough. Kara ended up solar flaring,” Alex recounted.

“Solar flaring?” 

“Kara doesn’t have her powers. She’s human, for now. Solar flaring is basically when she burns out her power. I have her under the sun lamps to recharge. But it’s happened once before, she was human for at least three days,” Alex said. 

“Did you need me to help with anything?” Lena asked.

“If you could work with Brainy on an idea he had to catch that alien, that would be great. But mostly, I thought you should know. I have to check on some things, stay with her for a bit?”

Lena nodded. 

She took up the stool she assumed that Alex had been sitting on for the past while Alex headed out of the medbay. Lena gently caressed Kara’s hand. 

“Hey.” Lena’s said softly. “I don’t know if you can hear me. But I’d like to believe so.” Lena sighed. “It’s always going to be you isn’t it? Sometimes, I wish it didn’t. And… and you would just stay. With me,” Lena mumbled. “Just… wake up soon okay? So I can punch you for being stupid alright, cause you could’ve… Please be okay.” 

Lena leaned up and kissed the top of Kara’s forehead. 

Later, Lena found Brainy and went on to work on a way to stop the rogue alien they knew little about. 

The next day Lena was next to Kara on her tablet running some simulations on the device that Lena and Brainy created. It was intended to draw out energy that was in high concentration from the alien to weaken them, continue to do so as J’onn and Alex fought the alien, and ensure it did not draw out any energy from J’onn. They were so close, but it may take another day or so. 

At the moment, Brainy was determining the right materials they needed to build it. 

Lena turned to her right when she heard the shuffle of feet at the door. She looked up to find Nia in a black sweater that had NASA and some planets on it and a pair of ripped jeans. Her hair was up in a messy bun. 

It wasn’t too unlike the faded jeans and National City University sweater that she had stolen from Kara so long ago.

“Hey,” Nia said. 

“Hi, how are you feeling?” 

“Better. Less worn out from yesterday. My powers are still very weak though. But Alex said that’s a good thing since the alien can’t sense my dream energy if it’s not a lot.”

Lena nodded. “Yeah, that should be right, from the research that me and Brainy compiled. I was just tweaking some stuff,” Lena said as she gestured to her ipad on her lap. 

“I’ll get you a table.”

“Oh, Nia you don’t have t-” But Nia was out of the room before Lena could stop her. 

Lena looked back to Kara, who was still unconscious. The sun lamps had been on all night, but she still hadn’t woken up. The longer it took, the more Lena began to worry. 

“Here,” Nia said as she brought in a small folding table, but one that was enough for Lena to work properly on. Initially, Lena wasn’t planning to stay here long. She was just going to stay with Kara for maybe 30 minutes and work. Then she’d head back to check up on Brainy’s progress. But what was supposed to be minutes quickly turned into hours. 

“Thank you.”

“No problem. How has she been?” 

“Healing. Slowly, but healing.”

Nia sighed and stared worriedly at Kara. “J’onn said, he said that she kept fighting, even without her powers. Just to protect me. She could’ve gotten herself killed.”

“You know Kara, she’d give anything to make sure everyone’s safe. Even people she doesn’t know. That’s just how she is. You would too. The both of you are heroes. Yet you’re not afraid, even of death. Not if it protects people,” Lena said as she watched Kara’s gentle breathing. 

“I guess it’s the knowledge that what you’re doing is right. That you’re taking a stand. I’ve faced a lot of hate and bullying because I’m trans and odd looks and rumors because I’m half alien. From it I’ve learned that you don’t let them win because it lets them think they can continue what they are doing, that they can do worse. To show them that good is just as strong as the bad makes a huge difference. That’s why you don’t give up even if you end up sacrificing everything.”

Lena looked at Nia. “But you sometimes don’t get to live for yourself. Don’t you at least deserve that?” 

“Yeah. It’s a delicate balance you have to be careful with. Something my mom told my sister. The thing I’m worried about is that I feel like Kara sometimes forgets that.”

“Why do you think that?” Lena asked. 

“She spends her time ensuring people know the truth and her spare time being a hero. All she does is be a hero to people in any way that she can. Sure she spends time with us, but it’s like she’s not a hero to live, but lives to be a hero. It’s not a bad thing, but there’s more to life than that. Like falling in love, having a family, growing old. She’s never mentioned those things to me, like she doesn’t think they’re for her,” Nia says sadly. 

“When you don’t have something to fight for, it’s easier to give everything, isn’t it?”

Nia nodded. “Although, when you do you don’t fight to sacrifice, but to live; personally, I think that’s a better way to fight.”

Lena’s awestruck from the young reporter’s wise words. She has a very valid point. Does Kara have something to fight for? Surely Alex. But was that enough? Kara nearly sacrificed herself during the Myriad incident knowing she’d be leaving Alex. 

“I should get her as many potstickers as she can eat when she wakes up,” Nia said. 

Lena chuckled. “Even that would drain _my_ bank account Nia.”

Nia made a regretful face. “Never tell her I said that. I’m sure 4 boxes should be sufficient enough.”

“I won’t. Go check on your boyfriend, make sure he isn’t overworking himself to the bone. And maybe drag him up here so he can update me,” Lena said.

“Will do. You shouldn’t overwork yourself too.” 

“I’m used to it.”

“You know, you’re just like Kara.”

Lena was taken aback by that comment. “I am?”

“You do everything you can to do good, make the work better as a scientist. But you don’t let yourself have much leisure time. That goes to lab work doesn’t it?”

Lena scoffed. “Just so you know I find working in the lab fun.”

A genuine smile spread across Nia’s face. “What about love? Family? Do you want that too?”

“I- I do, but I don’t think I’d be very good at them.”

“Some things take learning curves. Doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it in the end.”

“You’re starting to sound like Kelly now.”

“I see you’ve been going to those sessions. She isn’t wrong though,” Nia said before she left. 

Lena looked back at Kara. Instead of going back to work, she let herself imagine a future with Kara for once. Yeah, it’d be worth it. But could she have it?

Kara woke up in the evening that day. Lena had fallen asleep at some point, head on the table with the tablet still on in front of her. A half finished serving of fries from Big Belly Burger from Alex was next to the tablet.

“Lena?” A scratchy voice said. 

Lena groaned awake, then fully woke when she realized that it was Kara speaking. She saw the crystal blue eyes a bit lost and confused as Kara looked around.

Lena couldn’t help but have a grateful smile on her face. “Kara…”

“Is- is Nia okay? What happened? How long was I out?” Kara struggled as she tried to get up. 

“Hey, hey, everything’s fine,” Lena said as she gently pushed Kara’s shoulders down to guide her back to the bed. “Nia’s up and about, her powers are still weak but she’s no longer hurt. Me and Brainy have been working on something to stop that alien. J’onn managed to get you and Nia out before anything worse could happen. You’ve been out since yesterday.”

Kara began to relax on the bed as Lena relayed the news. Lena stood up and got Kara a cup of water.

“Thanks,” Kara said as she took big gulps. 

Lena sent a few quick texts to Alex and Nia, not wanting to leave Kara’s side to let them know. 

“Is it almost ready, what you and Brainy are working on? So I ca-”

“You are not going anywhere,” Lena said sternly as she realized where Kara was going with that sentence. “You solar flared, meaning you don’t have your powers. There’s absolutely no way you’re going out there till you’re better.”

Kara sighed. “But they don’t know that.”

“ _Kara._ ”

“Fine, fine,” She said then she finished her cup of water.

For a moment Lena wondered, was it really was that made the blonde want to so desperately go out there even without her powers. 

“You never told me about solar flaring,” Lena said. 

“I- yeah. The only other time it happened was in the first year I became Supergirl. I was fighting this robot guy that went out of control, Red Tornado. I overused my heat vision to destroy it, which drained my cells of their solar energy. Bad timing too because two days later there was an earthquake and I still didn’t have my powers.”

“Let me guess, you still ran into danger?” Lena said with an eyebrow raised.

“You know me so well. Yeah. Well there was a girl’s father who died, the ambulance couldn’t get there in time. It was hard to not be able to do something, to not save him… There was also a store that was getting mobbed. The one of the guys had a gun. I didn’t need my powers though. It’s still my most favourite photo James took of me. The guy handed me the gun. Sometimes words are enough and just as powerful as superpowers. Anyways, I got my powers back from a rush of adrenaline.”

“But this time it’s against an alien with powers. You can’t just run head first into this Kara,” Lena said. 

“Right.”

“We’ve got this one okay?” 

Kara looked at her and nodded. Kara winced as she did. 

“Do you need anything?” Lena asked.

“Hmmm, food sounds good.”

Lena laughed. “Of course.”

“Perfect timing then.”

Lena turned around to see Nia and Brainy with bags of take out for everyone with Alex and J’onn trailing behind. 

“Do I smell potstickers!” Kara said excitedly. 

Everyone laughed. 

*****

_What do you want? Why is it you that has to sacrifice everything you want, could have, dreamed of for everyone else?_

Within the next two days Lena and Brainy finished the device, J’onn and Alex caught the bad guy, Alex has been interrogating the alien before they send them to a more secure location, Nia’s been banned from the D.E.O while that alien is there, and Kara’s been forced to her apartment. 

Safe to say it’s been a chaotic two days. 

Even more so because Kara hasn’t gotten her powers back and of course the girl couldn’t seem to sit still. Worst of all, Kara also caught the cold. 

So here Lena was, standing in front of Kara’s door with soup. 

“Lena, hey,” Kara said -who was in a comfy pair of grey sweatpants and an old National City University shirt- when she opened the door after Lena’s knock. 

“I brought soup. Also do I want to know about the last time when I was told you were sick and brought soup?” Lena asked as she walked in immediately going to Kara’s kitchen to heat up the soup. 

Kara sneezed. 

“Bless you,” Lena said.

“Thanks,” Kara mumbled as she blew her nose. “You’d kill me if I told you.”

Lena stared at Kara curiously, “Now I think I have to know,” Lena noted as she poured the soup into a bowl. After grabbing a spoon she went over to Kara who was cuddled up in a blanket on the couch, the movie she had been watching paused. 

“It wasn’t me. It was J’onn. That um, Harry Potter diversion was not the first time J’onn shapeshifted into me. He absolutely hates it. Makes for fun entertainment since it doesn’t happen very often.”

Lena froze as she realized the topic of that conversation with sick ‘Kara’ last time. 

“Sorry, I know… I sure had a laugh though that J’onn apparently had a conversation with you about kissing James.”

Lena groaned. “Well that’s… I can’t believe you did that to me. Warn me next time if J’onn ever shapeshifts into you. Gosh, that’s embarrassing. I did have a feeling that you were acting off, but I just thought it was the flu getting to you, especially since I’ve never seen you sick before.”

“Hey, not my choice. I was in a coma. It was James’ fault for bringing up that I was sick which led you to come over.”

“Coma?”

“Yeah. The fight with Reign.”

“Right… Was that the only other time?”

“Nope, once I asked J’onn to be supergirl so I could… uh show Miss. Grant that I wasn’t Supergirl…” Kara said as she had her soup. 

“You didn’t,” Lena said. 

“Mmhmm, I did.”

Lena rolled her eyes at the sick girl. “Would you have done that with me if I had suspected?”

“No. You’re my friend. Miss. Grant was my boss and was literally about to fire me so I could be a hero 24/7. Which wouldn’t have been a good idea. The D.E.O doesn’t pay enough for the amount of food I eat.”

“Of course _that’s_ why.”

Kara chuckled which trailed off into a coughing fit. “Should you even be here? I don’t want to get you sick. You have a company to run.”

“Like I want to go back to men who think they can outsmart me with their investments,” Lena said sighing. 

“They’re stupid to think they can outsmart you,” Kara said.

“Precisely why those meetings are useless most of the time.”

“Want to watch Grease with me?” Kara asked. 

“Sure.”

For a while the two girls watched the movie, Kara hummed along to the music rather than singing along with the characters. Likely because her throat was sore from sickness. Lena contently took in the moment, relaxing on the couch. 

That moment was broken when the clear sound of a siren pierced the air. Lena watched Kara stiffen at the sound. She knew that the girl wanted to go help. But that wasn’t something she was able to do due to her current state. 

Lena noticed as Kara’s fingers began fidgeting with the remote control. Kara wanted to watch the news. Lena knew if Kara saw what was going on, no matter how small the situation, she’d be more likely to go out there. Fever and all. 

Out of impulse, Lena took the controller from Kara’s hands. 

“Lena, what-” Kara said as she jumped, clearly not expecting Lena to have grabbed the remote. 

But Lena didn’t answer her. She just looked back at the TV where Danny was about to have a car race with some other guy Lena didn’t remember the name of. 

“Lena…” Kara started softly. “Is- is there something wrong?”

“Is there something wrong?” Lena repeated Kara’s words, and she laughed humorlessly. “No, Kara. What could possibly be wrong with the fact that my best friend has blown out her powers, yet still wants to go out into danger when she’s just as vulnerable as any other human, maybe even less so because you’re sick right now.”

“I-”

Lena turned to face Kara, shock clearly evident on her face. 

The younger woman shook her head. “How are you possibly surprised Kara? I worry about you even when you _have_ powers. Maybe almost as much as Alex worries about you,” Lena realized that may have been a bit too much information that she’s revealed. But Lena was done. She couldn’t deal with this anymore, not since she realized that she was falling in love with the girl. “Why? You sacrifice _everything_ . And it’s clear as day that you are very much willing to sacrifice your own _life_ if it means being the hero. It- it doesn’t always have to be you…” Lena’s unexpected outburst trailed off into silence between the two girls. 

“I do it because… someone needs to. And if not me, when who else will? I do it so others don’t have to make the choice. I wasn’t sent here, one of the last of my kind gifted with powers on earth to do nothing. I-” Kara paused. “Being Supergirl gives me purpose Lena. It’s… my destiny.” 

“Fuck destiny.”

Kara’s eyes widened at Lena’s tone and words. 

“You are more than just a hero Kara. More than your destiny. You’re a sister, a daughter, a friend. Don’t you see that? Do you really think none of us will notice or care as you let your life be engulfed by whatever you think is your destiny? What do _you_ want Kara? Don’t you want a family? A future?” Lena said desperately.

Kara looked down at the blanket she fiddled with. “It’s not like I can have any of that.”

Lena’s heart wrenched as she heard the girl she cared for so much believe that she didn’t deserve a future. In fact, it angered Lena. Here she was falling for Kara and Kara was just there not even considering the idea of loving another person. How had she been so stupid? Kara’s life was being a hero. How could Lena be a part of that if Kara was going to continue like that. 

“Why,” Lena’s voice cracked.

“I’m different Lena. I- I’ve tried. But none of my relationships have worked out for me. It’s been nearly impossible to consider it while I’m being Supergirl or reporting. How could someone be willing to put up with all that? I can hurt them, these powers aren’t easy to control. Even just having to hug you I have to be careful. I also age slower, to fall in love with someone and watch as they age and eventually…”

Lena did the best she could to hold back the tears that were beginning to fill up her green emerald eyes. Lena realized that she should have never let herself believe she and Kara could’ve been a possibility. Kara’s heart wasn’t even open to love. Even if Lena would scour the earth to give her as much love she could possibly find. 

“You’re supposed to believe it’s worth it in the end,” Lena said the words told to her by Kelly and Nia. “But I’m not so sure it is anymore.”

Lena took her bag and left Kara’s apartment without another word.

*****

_Will you ever choose me? Do I matter to you? Do you even want me?_

It’s been 4 days since Lena has talked to Kara. 

She had a therapy session with Kelly a day ago. Or more like Kelly found out that something had been going on with her and Kara from Alex, and she barged into her office and sat down until Lena started talking. 

Since then, Kelly has been keeping Lena updated on Kara’s situation since Lena didn’t bother with it. She of course wanted to, but she was still very much upset with Kara to consider trying. Lena didn’t respond to those texts Kelly sent her, but she also didn’t tell Kelly to stop. 

Kara had gotten better from her cold. But her powers still weren’t back. Kara was freaking out, and Alex had to continuously calm her down. It’s the longest Kara’s been without her powers. 

She’s been ignoring Kara’s texts. 

And Lena has most definitely been overworking herself. 

She signed some of the last pages of paperwork she needed to go over. That’s when she heard the commotion in the hallway. Confused, Lena stood up to check on what was happening. Before she could two men in masks barged in while holding Jess hostage.

_Not again._

Each of them had a gun. One was pointed at Jess’ head and the other at her. 

“Whatever you two want it’s with me. Let her go.”

“We aren’t going to do that, Miss. Luthor,” One of them said. “Gives you too much leeway.” 

“What do you want?” Lena asked, voice steady and composed. 

“You are going to come with us,” the other guy said, the one who wasn’t holding Jess. And he started towards her. 

Just as that was happening, the door to the office opened again. 

“Lena?” A familiar voice said. _Kara._

She saw as Kara fully entered the room and realized what was going on. 

The man who was headed toward her now turned the gun to Kara. Lena gulped as she knew that this time, the bullets weren’t going to bounce off the blonde. 

She also saw the anxious silent conversation between the two criminals. It was clear that they had only prepared for a situation dealing with Lena and her assistant. Not a third person. 

Lena really needed to get better security. 

While the guy was turned to face Kara, Lena reached to the security button under her desk. 

“Hey don’t move!” The other guy said who held Jess, who noticed her movement. 

She could see as the one who was facing Kara was unsure of what to do because he turned around quickly, shaking and then Lena heard it. The gun went off. 

Lena closed her eyes, preparing for the hit. She wondered for a split second if the shot would kill her instantly or the guy would hit somewhere that wasn’t vital. 

But the moment was too long. She didn’t feel anything. That’s when Lena opened her eyes. 

She saw Kara’s face, close to hers. Body in front of her. _Oh god._

“K-Kara?” Lena’s voice shook afraid that Kara had been hit instead of her. It was clear. Kara took a bullet for her, knowing that it could pierce her skin. 

Kara gave her a sly smile, which was all Lena needed, to know that she was okay. “Rush of adrenaline,” was all she said before Kara moved away. In a blink of an eye, both men were unconscious on the ground. 

“Security should be up in a bit,” Lena said. “Are you okay Jess?”

“I should be asking you that, Miss. Luthor.”

“Well, luckily Kara was here,” Lena said. 

“Yes, thank you Miss. Danvers. Or should I say Supergirl,” Jess said to Kara. Kara’s eyes went wide. “What? It’s not like I didn’t have my assumptions,” Jess said as she went to let the security officers know what happened once they got on the floor. 

“Of course, Jess,” Kara said just before she left. 

“That was risky you know,” Lena said once it was only the two of them in the room other than the two unconscious men. 

“I know. But I wasn’t going to let you get hurt,” Kara responded.

“Why?”

Kara had a confused look on her face. “What do you mean why? You matter to me of course.” 

_But will you choose me? Over what you believe as destiny. Do you want me? And not just as a friend._ Lena thought. 

“Right, um…” 

“I wanted to talk, that’s why I came here,” Kara said. 

They were interrupted as the security guards came into the room. 

“Jess, take the rest of the day off. I’ll be heading home too,” Lena said as she started to grab her things. 

“Okay, Miss. Luthor,” Jess said and left the room. 

“Lena…” Kara started. 

Lena looked up at Kara. “Not now Kara, okay? I had a long day, and after all that... But thanks for protecting me as always.” Lena left Kara standing frozen in her office. 

Lena didn’t get much sleep that night.

*****

_I thought you didn’t need me. Even though I needed you._

It’s been two weeks. 

Lena’s been ignoring Kara’s texts and calls. 

She turns off the TV whenever a Supergirl headline shows up. 

Lena isolates herself to her lab. 

**Kelly:** Are you okay? You should talk to Kara. She’s barely left her couch other than for work and superheroing. 

**Kelly:** She’s not doing good. 

**Kelly:** She rejected potstickers.

 **Kelly:** I know it’s about you.

She ignores the texts.

*****

_I love you. I always have._

Lena knew that she couldn’t avoid Kara forever. But she knew she had to tell Kara, clear the air on everything. She knew though, that she struggled so much to say the words in person. 

Then an idea began to form in her head. There were some things she needed to do for herself, and she could accomplish it within a week. 

“Jess?” Lena said as she peeked out of her office door. 

“Yes, Miss. Luthor?”

“My schedule next week, is there any chance you can clear it?”

Jess’ eyes grew wide, never having heard those words from Lena’s mouth before. “Y- you want me to clear your entire week?”

“Yes, that’s what I said. It’s alright if that’s not possible I’ll just-”

“No! Nope! I can definitely do that!” Jess said immediately. 

“Okay…” Lena trailed off as she noticed the immediate excitement to the fact that Lena was going to take a week off. “Try to leave anything important needing my attention to next week or in the next two days, otherwise I’m sure our CFO can deal with the rest for the week.”

“Got it, Miss. Luthor.”

By the next day, Lena spent her time not working but writing. She was writing a letter.

_Dear, Kara_

_I know I’ve been avoiding you these past few days ever since I got upset with you. I’m not mad. I’m just hurt. It’s funny, because I thought when I found out that you were Supergirl that it was the only time you’d ever break my heart. Yet, you’ve done it again. It’s not your fault, this time it’s wholly mine._

_You must be wondering why I’m writing you a letter. I’ve been wanting to tell you in words. I’ve tried. But I couldn’t. And a text doesn’t do this any justice._

_I want to tell you, I love you. I always have._

_When you told me that you don’t expect to have a future, it hurt me. Because I was falling for you. Hard._

_I’m going to be away for a week. I have things to think about. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine even if none of this is what you want. This doesn’t have to change anything._

_Love,_

_Always,_

_Lena_

The raven haired girl slipped the letter under the crack of the white wooden door, and left. The flowers have begun to bloom.

*****

_I’ve always wanted to go home. But I realized home is you._

The air was crisp and windy. The scent of the air, familiar but faint. She opened her eyes to see vast waters at the bottom of the cliffs that drastically dropped thousands of feet below. The top of the cliffs where Lena stood were a lush green. 

It was a combination that could only be found in Ireland. The place she came from. The one she always believed to be home. 

As time went on it was harder to recall memories of her mother. But they were still there. Lena had always thought that being in Ireland would make her feel closer, more connected to her mother. In a way it did. 

It was the first time since she was a child that she really got to take in her surroundings. While she was here at boarding school, she was locked away in the stone walls of the school. She never got to explore her country. Not until now. 

Lena had arrived in her private jet yesterday, and spent the rest of the day when she arrived sleeping. Today, she had gone out, explored the town and had some of her favourite foods and tea. Enjoyed listening to people chat in Irish, a language she hadn’t practiced in a while, but was still able to pick up a few sentences here and there. 

She had been looking for something along the way but had yet to find it. Which led her here. Into nature.

The echoes of cries from the Irish songs sung by a group behind her at the crossroad where cement became nature. Every voice seemed to call for something; power, happiness, change, acceptance... 

Lena remained quiet. But her heart was crying out for home. 

Warmth of the disappearing sun showered Lena’s face, bathing it in a golden light. 

“Lena…” 

She jumped at the voice, not expecting anyone she knew to be there. Lena turned around, since she was already surprised by whoever it was; the dark haired woman didn’t realize how close she was to the edge of the cliff. 

As her foot moved back to adjust her position it slipped. Lena’s weight was pulled backward as she naturally moved her weight there. 

When her body realized what was happening, her heart raced. She was going to fall. She shut her eyes tightly. Was this going to be how she went? Not because of an assasination attempt or having been caught in the middle of a fight, but from slipping off an endless cliff. It’d be fitting in a way. To have gone the same place she was born. 

But then she felt it. A strong steady hand at her waist, and another holding her hand that reached out as if to grab something to prevent her fall. 

Lena opened her sea green eyes, one just a touch bit bluer than the other, met skies full of stars. 

“Kara,” Lena whispered. 

Kara, who was in her Supergirl suit, tugged her back to the land. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I-,” she looked down nervously for a moment before looking back at Lena. “I came to find you.”

“Wh- why? How?”

“Because of the note you left. And well, once I found out from Jess that you had gone off to Ireland, it wasn’t too hard to find you.”

“I could’ve been anywhere in Ireland, how did you know I was here?”

“Well… uh, finding your heartbeat in just one country is easier than trying to search for it in several of them. But definitely harder than in just a city,” Kara mumbled. 

“Y- you can find me by my heartbeat?”

“Um… yeah. It takes time to learn someone’s heartbeat, I’ve only known Alex and Eliza’s. But, I know yours too.”

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people like that,” Lena said, trying to avoid her now racing heart from the information that Kara had told her. 

“Sorry. Lena-”

“You don’t have to say anything about the letter. That’s the point of giving you a week Kara. I-”

“I love you.”

Lena froze and stared at Kara in shock. She wasn’t expecting that. 

“I’m so sorry for what I said. I- I’ve wanted those things you said my whole life. But ever since Krypton exploded, my life has been nothing close to normal. Each new thing that happened to me made me feel like I was getting further and further away from what I had wished would be my future, but I wouldn’t regret a thing. But what I would regret is giving up on the chance of it. 

“It took me a while too. To realize it. But I do now. I’m in love with you Lena. And I think a part of me was scared of that because you’ve already been through so much, and if you take this chance with me I’m worried that it’d ruin your chance at normal too,” Kara said until she ran out of breath. 

“Since when has my life been normal Kara? I love you too. I would be willing to take any chance you’re willing to give me. Whatever you want to try with me, together.”

“I’ve been really stupid.”

Lena laughed. “Yes, you’re an idiot,” Lena said. 

Kara bit her lip with a smile on her face. “Lena, would you like to go on a date with me?”

Lena didn’t know the last time she had smiled so hard, but it was definitely a long time ago. 

“Yes, I’d love to.”

Kara leaned in close to Lena, wrapped both her hands around Lena’s waist. In turn Lena circled her arms around Kara’s neck. 

That’s when she felt it. Safety, comfort, home. 

Home was not a place. It was a person. Because wherever you went with that person, you could build a home. Lena’s home… it was with Kara. 

Her pale hand gently held Kara’s cheek as she pulled her towards her. Their lips met in a gentle but loving kiss, surrounded in a golden light of the setting sun. The wind tangled their hair in a clash of blonde and black. People’s voices continued to cry out in song at a distance. 

But Lena’s heart was no longer crying out. 

*****

_Now and forever, you’ll always stay. You are mine, and I am yours, nothing will ever change that. I know that now._

“Kieran!” Lena exclaimed from the kitchen as she saw a dash of black hair run past her when she walked over to the stove. 

“Ah!” He said as Lena saw in the corner of her eye that his run was interrupted from Kara lifting him up into the air. 

“Not causing your mama trouble are you little one?” Kara asked as she put Kieran onto her shoulders. 

“No mom!”

“You sure?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Let’s see with your mama,” Kara said as she walked them back to the kitchen. “This one bothering you?”

The raven haired woman turned around from what she was cooking for dinner. She smiled at her wife and son. “Just a little bit,” Lena said. 

“Ooo, so then that means no ice cream after dinner right Lee?”

With a content smile on her face Lena said “Sounds about right, darling.” 

“What!” Kieran pouted. “I’m sorry mama, it won’t happen again!” He exclaimed immediately. 

Kara laughed softly as she moved the 5 year old from her shoulders into her arms. “We’re just kidding little one. But you’ve got to be careful around you mama okay? She’s carrying your sisters there, got it?” 

The little boy nodded quickly. 

“Go pick a Disney movie and mama and I will join you in a bit,” Kara said. 

“Okay!” Kieran said as he excitedly headed over to the living room, but being cautious of running in the house since he was caught earlier. 

Lena put the food she was cooking onto plates as she felt two familiar arms wrap around her, just above her growing tummy. A chin rested on her shoulder. 

“What are we going to do when there’s three of them running around?” Lena asked. 

“Hmmm… who knows. Make Alex and Kelly watch them? Rowan wouldn’t mind more playmates,” Kara suggested. “Plus you’re the one who suggested we have another.”

“Yes, _one_ other,” Lena said. “You’re sure it’s two?”

“Yep, I can definitely hear two heartbeats other than yours.”

“And how do you know they’re girls?”

“I just have a feeling.”

“Why did twins have to run in your family?”

“Don’t ask me that, it just does. But you wouldn’t have it any other way,” Kara said. 

Lena turned the stove off before turning around in Kara’s arms. “No I wouldn’t. It’s going to be like this forever?”

“Mmhmm,” Kara kissed Lena’s forehead. “Sounds like a good deal we made 7 years ago doesn’t it? You being mine, and me yours.” Lena fiddled with the wedding band on Kara’s left hand, one identical to hers. A promise they made, to stay with each other. 

“Yeah. Now and forever,” Lena said as she planted a quick kiss on Kara’s lips, before bringing the food to the living room where their son was waiting, Aladdin ready to play on the TV. 

The family cuddled up on the couch as they watched. 

“Ow!” Lena exclaimed as she felt one of the babies kick. 

“Lena, are you okay?” Kara said immediately. 

“Yes, one of them’s kicking,” Lena said. 

Kieran looked over to her. 

“Come here, Kieran,” Lena said. “Give me your hand.” The boy scooched over and held out his hand.

Lena gently placed the boy’s hand on her stomach. “You feel that love?”

Kieran’s eyes widened in wonder as he nodded. 

“That’s one of your sisters, causing trouble already.”

“When do I get to see them?” Kieran asked excitedly. 

“Soon, little one, soon,” Kara said as she wrapped her arms around Kieran looking at Lena with love in her eyes. 

It was this future that these two women thought weren’t for them. That they couldn’t have with each other. Yet, every twist and turn along the way proved it all wrong. They were the happiest they could be, and neither could have hoped for a future better than this. 

All of it taught Lena that it was hard loving a hero.

All of it showed Kara there was more to life than destiny. 

All of it was worth it. 

**Author's Note:**

> If any of you read my story 'Find My Way Back To You', Sadie may or may not be Sami's big sister, and yes this may be another universe of Cassie and Lori hehe.  
> (And yes I was listening to Hozier for the scene Lena goes to Ireland. Did my best to write what it would feel like there without having ever gone there)
> 
> Also I wanted to address that to those who may be protesting out there, stay safe! And those who chose to take action through spreading awareness and educating yourselves on the racism that black people have been facing for far too long, is valid too.  
> Right now feels pretty crazy, with the pandemic, the black lives matter movement, and the start of pride month. But it shows us that when we all work together we can all create beautiful change. No one deserves to be hurt because of the colour of their skin, who they love, and their gender identity. We're all different and valid. Everyone deserves safety and justice, because in the end we're all human.  
> So I just wanted to say that black lives matter and happy pride everyone. Take care!


End file.
